The Guardian calls for talking CCTVs to be replaced with patrolling Daleks

10 April 2007

Charlie Brooker, columnist on the Guardian newspaper, believes that Daleks would make a more effective public protection force than CCTVs.

Anyone watching the news recently will have learnt that we are moving ever-closer to the 1984 police state, with the introduction of ‘talking’ CCTV cameras. The government calls them ‘interactive’ without having looked up the meaning of the word (you can’t ‘interact’ with them – they just shout at you, interaction is two-way). The UK already have more CCTV cameras per head of population than any other country in the world, now the plan is to add a loudspeaker to them so that surveillance officers can shout at offenders.

The whole thing makes for the basis of a good Doctor Who story – the Doctor returns to Earth to find it run by an Orwellian government.

Well, Charlie Brooker of the Guardian thinks that the Government should go one better and introduce patrolling Daleks to our streets. These would be properly interactive, and not only could they observe and chastise, they could also hand out punishment instead. Brooker recommends the use of full-sized, remote controlled, blue and red Daleks. The blue ones would deal with minor infractions, while the red ones would be ‘emotionless killing machines’.

We couldn’t agree more. If you’re going to go for complete population control, bring in the experts. Of course, what Brooker doesn’t realise is that Daleks often have their own agenda, and before long we could all be working in a mine in Bedfordshire – but, that aside, the overall plan is sound. Check it out.